John F Demartini: What Failure Has Taught Me

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What Failure Has Taught Me; My 4 Key Rituals to Ensure My Goals Are a Success


The above video is 2:38 minutes long.

Watch the full interview below or listen to the full episode on your iPhone HERE.

Guy: They say you learn more from your failures than you do your successes, so what better a topic to raise with a man who appears to achieve anything he puts his mind to. Find out what the determining factors are to knowing you are on the right path or not for any goal you want to go after in life.

Our awesome guest this week is Dr John F Demartini. Personally I think he’s a rock star! He travels the world (360 days a year) inspiring millions of people to discover who they truly are, maximizing their potential and helping you love your life! Now who wouldn’t want a piece of that?

Some of his best selling books include - The Breakthrough Experience, The Values Factor and Inspired Destiny.

Dr John F Demartini

 

“When the voice and the vision on the inside is more profound, and more clear and loud than all opinions on the outside, you’ve begun to master your life”
John F. DemartiniPerformance & Behaviours Specialist

 
About Dr Demartini. He is considered one of the world’s leading authorities on human behavior and personal development. He is the founder of the Demartini Institute, a private research and education organization with a curriculum of over 72 different courses covering multiple aspects of human development.

Dr John Demartini Full Interview: Maximize Your Potential, Dial in to Your Internal Compass & Learn to Love Your Life!


downloaditunesListen to StitcherQuestions we ask in this episode:

  • How important are our values to overall health & happiness?
  • Why do people self-sabotage where health is concerned (falling off the wagon etc.)?
  • How do we discover what our highest values are?
  • What are your top tips/strategies to us get out of ‘a rut’ and set us in the right direction?
  • Have there ever been any goals that have eluded you that you had to change strategy to achieve?
  • The movie The Secret is coming up to its 10th anniversary, What are your thoughts on the movie?
  • And much much more…

 

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Full Transcript

Hi, this is Guy Lawrence from 180 Nutrition and welcome to today’s health sessions. Boy, do we have a [inaudible 00:00:08] of an episode for you today. Our special guest is Dr. John Demartini. If you’re not familiar with his work, he is considered one of the world’s leading authorities on human behavior and personal development. He travels 365 days a year to countries all over the globe, sharing his research and findings in all markets and sectors, and when we say all markets and sectors, I’m not getting. He is the author of 40 books published in over 29 different languages. That is incredible. He has produced over 60 CDs and DVDs, covering subjects such as development in relationships, wealth, education, and business.

We got to sit down with him for 45 minutes today and tap into his wisdom and experience over the years. The guy is just a pleasure to interview and a sheer inspiration, from his phenomenal story from being told that he’s never going to amount to anything when he couldn’t read or write, to his accomplishments where he’s gone on today and inspired literally millions and millions of people’s lives all around the world.

We tackle things like values, goals, why do we sell sabotage. We delve into these topics and we also touch on the movie The Secret as well … because it’s coming up to 10 years since that movie came out and John Demartini played a big part in that movie … what was his thoughts on it and reflecting back on that, which was pretty cool, too. He’s read over 30,000 books and we ask him, which one would he give away as a Christmas present? Because there’s a lot to choose from.

Anyway, this is an awesome show and you will get a lot out of it. It’s one I’m definitely going to listen to a couple of times myself, to make sure my values are in check. Anyway, if you’re listening to this from iTunes and you do enjoy the show, please leave us a review. I always ask. Hopefully you get

[00:02:00] tired of me asking one day and leave the review. It means a lot to us, honestly though, jokes aside. They just help continue to get this message out there and we’re really starting to see the difference now, as our podcast is starting to continually stay higher and higher in the health rankings here in Australia. But of course, we want to reach everyone globally, as well. If you enjoy the show, please leave a review, 5-star, and hit subscribe. It takes one minute to do, and it’s greatly appreciated. We read all the reviews. Anyway, let’s go over to Dr. John Demartini. Thank you.

Stuart: Absolutely, Guy. Yes.

Guy: Okay, cool. Hi, this is Guy Lawrence. I’m joined with Stuart Cook, as always. Hi, Stuart.

Stuart: Hello, mate. How are you?

Guy: Fantastic. Our awesome guest today is Dr. John Demartini. John, welcome to the show.

John: Well, thank you for having me.

Guy: Yeah. It’s an honor, mate. Look, you travel the world inspiring millions of people every year. When I first heard your own personal journey and story, it certainly touched and inspired me. I thought that would be a great place to start because I have no doubt we’ll be exposing you to listeners that might not have heard of your work before. Would you mind going back to the beginning and just sharing a bit about your journey and what led you to where you are today?

John: Okay, it’s a bit of a story but I’ll … I was born a bit challenged. I had a leg and an arm that was stunted, deformed and turned in, and a speech problem. When I was in first grade, my teachers said to my parents that, “I’m afraid your son will never be able to read or write or communicate or amount to anything, never go very far in life.” I made it through school by asking questions and eventually dropped out of school. I was a street kid from 13, 14 on. I picked up, as a hobby, surfing because I started living at

[00:04:00] the beach. I hitchhiked out to California, lived at the beaches there, went down in Mexico and surfed, and just lived a 60s kid. The 60s were pretty wild in those days.

[00:04:00] Eventually I went over to Hawaii because that’s where the big waves were and I wanted to go surfing. I was living there in a tent and I was not eating and thinking and doing things so wisely, and I ended up with strychnine and cyanide poisoning and almost died. Luckily, a lady found me in my tent, helped me recover by taking me to the health food store and getting some food in me. One day, leaving that health food store, I saw a little flyer on the door with a special guest speaker, Paul Bragg, who was an amazing guy. He’s a naturopath, longevitist, and helped simulate 1,000 health food stores across America. He inspired me one night with one message in one hour to believe that maybe, just maybe, I could overcome my learning problems. I could learn how to read, I could someday be intelligent. He inspired me to want to know what universal laws were, about what health was, what life was about.

That was the beginning of a journey that started 43, almost 44 years ago, that I’ve been on ever since. That night, I made a decision that I wanted to travel the world and learn about everything I could and teach and be intelligent. I ended up going back to take a GED, high school equivalency test. I guessed and passed, then I tried to get into college. I failed at first, but then I learned gradually how to read. I memorized 30 words a day until my vocabulary was strong enough to where I could read, and I ended up never putting books down since. I read every single day and I just love learning.

Guy: Do you ever wonder about if you never wandered in that night to hear Paul Bragg speak, what would have happened?

John: Well, I was mentoring under a guy named Dick Brewer, who was a big surfboard maker there. He used to make surfboards for Country Surfboards,

[00:06:00] and my buddy owns Country Surfboards today. In all probability, I would have been a surfboard maker, a long-haired hippie surfboard maker, probably if I hadn’t done that. I remember meeting Laird Hamilton when he was 7.

Guy: Wow.

John: I was surfing there and he lived at the same park I did. He was an abandoned child. I would probably have hung out with some cool surfers and been a surfer guy, if it wasn’t for that special night.

Guy: Still not a bad lifestyle.

Stuart: I was going to say, you know what? I kind of like the idea of that.

John: Yeah. There’s no way of knowing what would have happened. I can only guess, but all I know is that I’m grateful for what did happen.

Guy: Amazing.

Stuart: Fantastic. No, that’s awesome. That’s an amazing story. I know that Guy has been … Guy runs in the values world. He’s always talking about values. We’ve got to connect with our values. I thought that you would be the best guy to ask about values. How important are they to our overall health and happiness?

John: Well, every human being lives by a set of priorities, a set of values, things that are most important or least important in their lives. This set of values really dictates their life, their destiny, because it determines how they perceive the world, they filter their world, what decisions they make and how they act, what decisions and actions they take. Our brain is set up according to our values. Our brain is a highest value seeking organ. You tell me what your values are, I’ll tell you what you’re having.

If you set goals that are aligned with your values, you have achievement. If you set goals that are not aligned with your highest values, you probably have frustration. One is you become a master of destiny. The other one, you become a victim of history. I’m a firm believer that knowing one’s values and knowing what’s really a priority and sticking to priorities and filling your day with high-priority things, is probably the wisest thing a person can do.

Guy: Do you think from your experience … Obviously, you’ve worked with so many people over the years and would have seen human behavior over time

[00:08:00] and time and time again. Do people even know what their values are and stop to give it a thought?

[00:08:00]
John: Well, the majority of people subordinate to individual or collective

authorities. What they think their values are, are social idealisms that they’ve injected, instead of actually looking at what their life demonstrates. I have developed on my website, people can go to it if they want and do this, but I developed a 13-step questionnaire that helps you determine what that is. You can start setting goals where you’ll achieve. What it is, I look at how people fill their space, how they spend their time, what they spend their money on, what energizes them, what they think about, what they visualize, what they affirm, where they’re most organized, where they’re most disciplined, what they’re most inspired by, what they want to talk about most, what goals that they have that are consistent, persistent, that are achieved, and what they love learning about.

I look at what their life demonstrates, not what they think it should be. A lot of people are living in should’s and ought to’s and all these imperative languages, instead of actually looking at what their life demonstrates. I’ve asked people, thousands of people, “How many of you want to be financially independent?” For instance. Everybody puts their hands up. But then I ask how many are, and most people put their hands down. Only 1% or less of the world’s population obtain financial independence. The majority of people, they don’t really have a value of wealth building. They have a value on spending money on consumables and depreciables that go down in value. They don’t know the difference between assets and liabilities, and they’d rather buy liabilities than they would actually build assets. They don’t have the values for wealth building, but they have the fantasies. If you ask them do they want to be wealthy, they all put their hands up.

Guy: Oh, yeah.

John: What their actions demonstrate are different. I’m a firm believer in what your actions are speak louder than the words.

Guy: What about if you take that … because we obviously work in the health [00:10:00] industry, myself and Stu, and we’re in the firing line a lot. People generally [00:10:00] want to become healthier. If you asked anyone in the room, they’d put their

hand up and say, “Yeah, I want to be healthier.” John: Exactly.

Guy: Yet, they sabotage themselves day in, day out, where they might get … and I know you talk about inspiration … they might get motivated but then they fall off. Why is that, even though they want to change?

John: It’s their values. They had a choice between working out or watching TV, if they get more dopamine fix watching TV, they’re going to watch TV. If they had a higher value on socializing and going and eating a nice than they do actually in working out and eating wisely, they’re going to. Every decision you make is based on what you believe will give you the greatest advantage over disadvantage, greatest reward over risk to your highest values. Most people don’t know what their values are. Again, they inject social idealisms, “I should be healthy,” “I should be wealthy,” “I should be this,” and what their values demonstrate are different.

I just had some plain yogurt, some grapes, and some fresh fruit and multi- grain toast for breakfast. I eat food. I don’t do it because I’ve got to, I don’t do it because I need motivation. It’s just, I don’t live to eat; I eat to live. It’s ingrained [inaudible 00:11:08] my value system. I also save my money and invest it. I also have a work ethic. If I look at my values and what my life demonstrates, I get results according to that. So often, people inject … they compare themselves to others, minimize themselves to people they put on pedestals, sort of inject those idealisms on their life and want to be like that, but actually don’t have the values that will lead them that. When they make decisions, their real values surface, and they make decisions according to what’s really important to them instead of what they think it is and should be. That’s where the conflict is.

People call it sabotage, but it’s actually just people living according to their values, with fantasies trying to not to, trying to be somebody they’re not. That’s why you got to know who your values are and know who you are if you want to really have fulfillment in life.

Guy: Yeah.

Stuart: I was just thinking right now, as a parent, how can we instill the importance [00:12:00] of finding our values into our children? Is it a case of children [inaudible

00:12:03] parents, so if we live by our actual values, they will too?

John: Well, there’s no doubt that children mimic and learn through exemplification. Albert Einstein said the greatest teacher’s exemplification. Even so, you have to look at what is valuable to the child. It used to be thinking that children were blank slates in the 1940s and 50s, and so we were supposed to impose values on them. But that’s been thrown out, that’s antiquated. The reality is that children are having values and they’re evolving throughout their life. If you communicate and if you respect the child and care enough to communicate what you believe will help him in his life or her in her life, in terms of their values, they’ll be receptive and take them in. But if you communicated in a way where you’re wrong and we’re right, you’re just going to get resistance because our natural tendency is to want to be loved for who we are, not for what we think we’re supposed to be.

You’re bombarded everyday by people around you socially, projecting their values on you, showing you love according to their values, and you’re kind of going through a minefield trying to figure out how to be yourself in that field. You have to have the strength to be yourself and learn the art of communicating what you value in terms of other people’s values or you’re going to live in a distressful world instead of [inaudible 00:13:23] pathway.

Guy: That makes me think about … because we had a question in here about putting our values on other people’s values, if they conflict, and again, that could be with children or people with health [inaudible 00:13:36] suffering. Yet we can say, or we can help, we can do these things, and there’s always resistance. We hear that actually, quite a lot in our circles of friends as well. I know people that right now whose health isn’t great, but it’s a very difficult topic. Any advice there, John?

[00:14:00]
John: You know, when a patient used to come into my office years ago, I learned

a very important question. They would come in, let’s say they would have a shoulder problem or neck pain or who knows what, physical. I would ask them this question: what specifically is this discomfort, this restriction, this pain or whatever you’re experiencing, what specifically is it interfering with in your life that’s extremely valuable to you? When I asked that question, I would elicit what they valued. For instance, I had a lady that had a neck and shoulder that was tight and painful. I said, according to the history here, you’ve had this for almost 3 months, but all of a sudden you came in today, so that means you may not … you didn’t come in here because of the neck pain, you came in because something that was valuable in your life was interfered with. What is that?

She said, “It’s interesting you asked that. The other day, I was getting on the freeway, and I couldn’t turn my neck to see if I was going to get hit coming on the freeway and it scared that daylights out of me. I had two kids in the car, and I thought, ‘Oh my God, I’m taking a risk, I could be killed.’ That when I realized I could my own kids if I don’t get some care done. She was not in there because of her neck pain. She was there because she wanted to be a good mother and making sure her kids didn’t get hurt. I need to find out what they really value and then I need to communicate with them, not in, “Oh, I’m going to help you with your neck pain.” “I’m going to help you make sure you’re a good mother and make sure you’re always safe with your kids.”

If I talk in their values, they don’t resist. They’re very receptive, but I have to care enough about the patient to find out what they value and then communicate what I value in terms of what they value. If I do, we work and we both win.

Stuart: That makes perfect sense. Many of us today describe ourselves as being in a rut. You know, I’m kind of bored in my job, nothing’s going the way I want it

[00:16:00] to, but I’m staying there because I’m kind of comfortable. Do you have any specific strategies or tips that could help people perhaps understand that they are in a rut and set them in the right direction?

John: I always say that depression is a comparison to your current reality to a fantasy that you’re addicted to. Somehow, if they’re not fulfilled in their life, they’re comparing it to something they think as a better life, and it may or may not be. If they’re comparing what’s going on to something that you don’t have access to, you’re just going to frustrate yourself. Here’s my suggestion. Make a list of everything you do at your work, if this is a work- related one. Make a list of everything you do, all your responsibilities, every one of them that you might do in a whole month, just list them all. These are all the things you do throughout the day.

Next to that, then go to my value determination process on my website, it’s free, and go and determine what you really value. Not what you think it is, but what you really demonstrate to be. It’ll be eye opening, because you’ll go, no wonder I make decisions … you’ll understand why you do what you do if you do that. Then ask how specifically is doing each of these job duties helping me fulfill my top three highest values that I’ve just determined? Don’t stop answering that question, even if you [inaudible 00:17:17], I can’t see it, I don’t know, there’s not connection. Go and find it, because everything is connectable. Go make the links. Because if you can’t see what you’re doing on a daily basis is fulfilling your highest values, you’re going to be uninspired to go to work and you’re going to not be engaged and you’re going to feel frustrated, you’re going to want to … that unfulfillment will make you look for immediate gratification with coffee breaks and everything else, and you won’t want to be there, and you’ll be unfulfilled.

[00:18:00]

But if you make the links and ask how specifically is doing this job duty helping me fulfill what my highest values are, what’s most meaningful to me, and make the links, you can actually become reinspired by what you’re doing temporarily until you make a pathway to the next career. While you’re doing that and after you’ve done that … I have a whole system I do in corporations to help people become more engaged by doing, and it works, it’s a real science. Make those links, 20 to 30 or so links per job duty. It may take you a few hours, but it’ll be the best few hours you had because now you’ll be lightened up and inspired to go do that work, and you’ll get more opportunities and promotions and things will happen if you do that.

In the meantime, it’s wise to then set a business plan together on the career path that you’d rather have, if you do have a desire for another path. If you don’t … nobody’s going to get up in the morning and dedicate their life to you; if you’re not doing it, nobody else is going to. If you’re not sitting there and planning out how you want your want life, the new company you want to build, or the new pathway you want to take, and look at what’s necessary to move in that direction, you’ll be trapped where you are. Either go and love what you’re doing by linking what you’re doing to your highest values, or go and do what you love through delegating and planning, so you can get on with doing something that’s meaningful in your life. Then see how this job you have now is going to help you get there. You ask, how specifically does this temporary job I’m doing now helping me in my new pathway? Make the links, and once your brain sees the way, things are on the way, not in the way, and you’re fueled, not frictioned. [inaudible 00:19:13].

Now, instead of having a fantasy of how it should be, you now have a strategy and an appreciation for what’s going on along the way. Because you may be meeting people, you may be learning new skills, you may be having your networking experience, you may be getting money accumulated to help you on this new pathway, but be grateful for what you’ve got, you get more to be grateful for.

That’s fantastic. That triggered a thought and just going off slightly on tangent but I want to raise, because when I think about myself and Stu, and when we started 180, we’re kind of doing what we love and we’re trying to project our message out there to the world … When people are trying to make the change, one thing that did come up for me a lot was fear, and fear that I’m not worthy enough, I’m not good enough, I’m scared, am I ever going to make money. There’s all these reasons why we can stop ourselves as well. I just wanted to hear your thoughts on that because I have no doubt that will come up for a lot of people.

Guy:

[00:20:00]

John: I’m going to shock people when they hear what I’m about to say. I’ve been studying fear … because every human being has it … I’ve been studying it all these years, four and a half decades at most, and I’m going to make a statement, so you got to just wrap your head around this. Your phobias are a result of your philias. Philia is like an infatuation or a fantasy about things. For instance, we’ve all set goals and we thought, “Oh my God, this is going to get more advantage than disadvantage, taking this pathway, and I’m going to get this goal.”

But by the time we got to the goal, we went through all kind of challenges and sometimes tragic experiences, in order to get to the goal. There were benefits and drawbacks, positives and negatives in the pursuit of that goal, but if we set a goal that has only the positives without the negatives, we have an anxiety to bring up intuitively the parts that we’re ignoring in our awareness. It’s making sure that we’re setting real goals that have real strategies, that think out contingencies for all the challenges in advance, so the moment we do, our phobia’s gone, because our philia’s gone.

I learned from Donal Trump. I used to live in Trump Tower, we lived right underneath Donald. One day, he came down the elevator, we rode down together. My wife were I were going over to have some sushi and he was going to a meeting. We go down, we get into the lobby, and there’s 12 of his kind of disciples with him. We went out the swivel door, we went out to the 56th and 5th corner there, and we listened to his conversation with his 12 “disciples.” He was building the Hudson River project at the time, and he asked the people there, the men and women that he had working for him, I

[00:22:00] want to know every single thing that could go wrong with this Hudson River project. If we go digging 9 stores in the ground to build a skyscraper, are there Indian artifacts we’re going to run into? Are there oil pipes down there? Is there any ecological concerns we have? Do we have any wires down there? Anything that can interfere with that project. Are there anybody that doesn’t want to sell that we might have to buy out?

He wanted to know everything that could go wrong with that project. He had a contingency plan for everything that could go wrong, and what happened is … rarely do those things happen, but he was prepared. He had a balanced goal. He had the positives and the negatives together. Many people set out on only one side, and they’re trying to get a one-sided magnet. The other side of the magnet, which is fear, comes in to let them know that they have not really strategized fully and put all the contingencies in. The moment they do, the philia’s gone, the phobia’s gone, and they take actions with their strategy.

John Demartini FULLPage !10 of !18

In the highest area of the brain, the [inaudible 00:22:54] prefrontal cortex, there’s an executive center that’s designed for objective reason. The second that comes online, we live by our highest values, we have an inspired vision, we see a strategic plan, we execute it, and we have self- governance, because we see things objectively, with a balance. There are a lot of times people ad hoc get cocky with a fantasy of a pleasure with the pain, a happy without a sad, a positive without a negative, then they have anxieties intuitively trying to say you don’t have a balance, you have this fantasy up in your mind, you see you have a phobia to try to get you back centered. The second you’re centered, both are dissolved, because they’re integrated.

Guy: Got it, you literally just see it for what it is.

John: You see it for what it is. Because when you do a great goal, there’s challenges. If you’re pretending like they’re not there and then get smacked by them, you’re not prepared. I would say a wise leader fills their day with challenges that inspire them so the day doesn’t get filled up with challenges that don’t.

Stuart: That’s interesting as well because I read an article today and I’d noticed [00:24:00] that the subject of stoicism has been widely publicized of late.

John: It’s surfacing, yes.

Stuart: Yeah, so the theory behind that, or at least in the article I read today, was that if you’re worried that you’re not going to be able to feed yourself, then why don’t you try a week eating beans and rice? If you’re worried you’re not going to be able to clothe yourself, then wear the same clothes for a week. I think after doing that, you realize, well, it’s actually not that bad anyway, so you’re not really in that fear-based mindset.

John: Fear is an assumption that you’re about to experience through your senses or imagination, that either real or imagined, more loss than gain, more negative than positive, more pain than pleasure, more challenge than support, more risk than reward, in your perception. I’m always amazed at how people come up to me and said, “Well I have fear,” and I say, “What exactly is the fear?” “I don’t know, it’s fear of the unknown.” I said, “There is no such thing as fear of the unknown. The content of your mind has no data in your mind that you’re frightened of. What exactly is in the mind, and we can find that out, and then we can find the flip side to it. If we balance it, the fear is gone. Fear is a feedback. I’m grateful for my fears. My fears let me know when I’m going after delusions. It makes sure I set strategies that are real. The second I do, the fear dissolved.

Guy: Right. Have you set any goals, John, that have eluded you, and you kind of then have to change direction?

John: I’ve set many goals. I have a form that I do where I set the goal, the day that I set the goal, the goal I set, the date I envisioned it being completed, and the day that I actually completed it. Because I want to do a little analysis to see if I was psychotic. What I found is whenever I set goals in a manic state, when I was puffed up and thought I was bigger, better, greater than anything, I set too big of goals and too short of time frames, with a automatic feedback system where I felt like I’d failed. Then when I was

[00:26:00] minimizing myself, I set too small goals with too big a time frame, where I felt I succeeded. Then I had to learn how to homeostat myself, it was self- governance to set real goals and real time frames that I achieved, where I built the biggest momentum. Otherwise I’m actually in between the solution of success and failure.

I found that if I don’t manage myself and get really grounded and be myself, I just set these lopsided goals and then I have to use this feedback system just to get me centered again. I’ve tried to set goals and I now know there are certain criteria when I have a real goal. One, I feel that it’s impossible for me not to fulfill, it’s a certainty that I have. I can see it in my mind’s eye, every part of the strategy, it’s clear. It feels destined, and I get a tear in the eye where I know that it’s done. Usually when I do that, I achieve things and I synchronously attract people, places, things, ideas, and events to come into reality to help me achieve it. But if I set a goal out of a manic state where I’m puffed up and thinking I can be more than I … I usually get humbled. Pride before the fall, hubris.

I’m a firm believer in setting real goals and that’s why the discipline of asking and making sure you see both sides gets you honed in on a real goal, because it makes you set more realistic time frames and all the work that’s involved, and it gets you grounded. I find that people who do extraordinary things are not just leaving it to chance, they’re strategic. Donald doesn’t build giant buildings and [inaudible 00:27:14] doesn’t build businesses without incredible detail.

Guy: I’m guessing setting goals is almost like exercises, you get better at it the more you do it. It’s almost …

John: Yeah, just like Warren Buffett said, until you can manage your emotions, don’t expect to manage money. Same thing, until you can manage your emotions, the highs and lows of your perception, don’t expect to manage your goals and achievements. Same thing.

Guy: Yeah, amazing. I raised that question … sorry, Stuart, I know you’re [inaudible 00:27:42]. I was having a conversation literally yesterday with someone and they said they felt like they’re doing everything right. They get up early in the morning, they meditate, they do their yoga, they’re

[00:28:00] doing their exercises, they’re setting their goals, they’re putting their intention out there. It’s almost like the term of this perfect lifestyle, but then the goal is still eluding them. It made me think about that. If there was one tip, what would it be for that person who would be listening in to this podcast today?

John: Well, there’s a number of things that come to my mind when you mentioned that. First of all, they’re probably setting goals that aren’t really theirs without realizing it. I had a guy the other day in San Francisco that, he said, “I want to have a million-dollar business.” He wants to make a million dollars, in other words. I said, “Right, and what do you do exactly?” He says, “I’m a doctor.” I said, “Okay, how many patients do you see?” “X.” “What is the average of office visit?” “X.” “How many times do you see them?” “X.” “How many new patients a month do you …” I ran all the numbers and I said, “That’s a $600,000 practice. You’re setting a goal with strategies that only give you $600,000.” He said, “Well that’s what I’m making.” I said, “Well, because you’re strategies are matching it.”

I said if you don’t have a higher patient visit average, you don’t have a higher dollar per unit, or you don’t have new patients, you’re not going to have a million-dollar practice. He goes, “Well, that’s why for three years now, I’ve been trying to get a million-dollar practice, but my strategies aren’t going to get me there.” You’ve been beating yourself up because you don’t have a strategy.

There are three things that undermine goals: people setting goals that are impossibles, that means they want to be happy without sad, positive without negative, pleasure without pain, a one-sided world; improbables, goals that don’t match their real highest values; and unstrategized, things that haven’t been strategized realistically so they don’t have a strategy that’s matching what they say they want. Those three things undermine a lot of goals and then they don’t get them done, and they’re not willing to do the work to do it.

Stuart: I was first exposed to your messaging in the movie The Secret, which is coming up to its 10th anniversary. I was interested to hear your thoughts on

[00:30:00] the movie. Do you think that it resonated a kind of global ripple of values and goal setting?

John: Well the original movie was actually going to be launched on Channel 9 here in Australia on the February 14th 10 years ago. It was only going to have 6 people in it, and it was a special, more in-depth view on the mysteries and secrets of the universe kind of thing. But what happened is the Commonwealth Games bought out the time on it, and they had to quickly reshuffle and they diluted the movie down and put all 33 of the people they filmed, which is going to be a second movie … put it all into one and made a DVD, they made this DVD out of it and launched around the world.

The original movie would have been great, but it probably would not have reached the world like this one did. They diluted it down, made it a little bit more user friendly for the masses, and then they got out there through the internet and got the right people to drive this thing. When I first saw the movie, I was a little disappointed because it wasn’t what our original agreement was, but I’m grateful because it reached so many people and it allowed us to start a conversation, because there were many things left out in the movie that I felt needed to be in there. But they had to just do what they could within the time they had. So I was a little disappointed but I’m grateful at the same time, because we wouldn’t have got to reach as many people.

It’s interesting you asked that. Today, after this interview, being picked up by the director of The Secret, and we’re spending most of the day filming. It’s interesting that it’s a 10-year anniversary because I’m spending time with Drew Heriot today. He’s a lovely director and they’re working on a new movie right now.

Guy: That’s fantastic. There’s a couple of things I want to touch on when we got you on the show. One was your workshops. You travel the world presenting, I think most weekends, would that be correct?

John: I pretty well speak every day. Last year I did 350 … somewhere between [00:32:00] 300 and 425 speeches a year, and about a thousand interviews a year, so I

keep a [inaudible 00:32:02] schedule speaking.

Guy: Wow, that’s incredible. For the listeners, if they wanted to know what the first workshop they should do, what would it be, what would it be about …

John: Well, it depends. Some people, you know … it’s healthy to have a nice, healthy skepticism. People need to check me out before they just jump into something. Usually what people do is they come in to an evening event that we do. Like tonight, I’m doing a program, Activating Your Multimillionaire blueprint, to help people realize that unless they do really do have a value on wealth building, they’re probably going to frustrate themselves because they’re going to keep making decisions that undermine their wealth. I’m going to be discussing that tonight in Sydney.

I usually do those evening events and from there, people go on to the Breakthrough Experience, that’s my first personal development program out of 75 courses I teach. That one is 24 with me for a weekend on breaking through whatever is in the way to help whatever you’re wanting to do so it can be turned in on the way. I don’t know what I’m going to run into with each person. It’s a workshop, so we sit down and find out. If it’s business, if it’s financial, if it’s family, if it’s relationships, it’s health … I don’t know, but whatever it is, we help them through it, navigate through it, so they can use it to their advantage and move forward and get clear about what they want and make sure it’s [inaudible 00:33:20] values, and show them how to not subordinate, distract themselves with unrealistic expectations. The Breakthrough Experience is probably the key one that most people struck from there on out.

Guy: Yeah, fantastic. I’m aware of the time, guys, and we have certain questions that we always ask everyone on the show, John. The first one would be do you have a daily routine and your non-negotiable practices?

John: Well, I have a very interesting schedule because I maybe … like tomorrow [00:34:00] morning, I’m doing a webinar in Cyprus, the island of Cyprus, at 6, so I’ll be

up at 5, probably. Tonight I have a talk til … I won’t be back here until about 11:30. Each day is different, but I would say that normally I get up, I brush my teeth, I kind of wash my face a little bit, I do some exercises, some yoga … not a lot, but just a brief stretching and loosening up and some little bit of muscle toning. Then I shower and then I go and have yogurt, fruit, multi-grain bread, toast. I come back, look at my emails, see if there’s anything that urgent. I work on the emails, or I’m researching, or I’m doing interviews, or I’m speaking, or I’m getting on a flight, researching and writing whilst I’m flying to do my next talk. That’s my typical day.

At lunch, I am usually eating either soup, salad, a sandwich … usually a turkey sandwich or salmon and spinach and carrots … and at dinner I eat the same way. I’m a quality eater and I drink only water, and I have that ritual, and I research, write, travel, and teach daily. That’s it, those are the four things I do. I delegate everything else south, even lovemaking to my girlfriend, I delegate that out.

Stuart: Do you supplement your diet at all, I mean given the- John: Yes.

Stuart: You are doing crazy hours.

John: Yes, I do. I am using a supplement. For a number of years, I was eating very natural foods and I thought … eating some juices sometimes, I drink water and sometimes I have some juices … but I then realized that there was some hair loss. I’m going on 62 now so I still got some hair, but I was having some hair loss and my skin pores were a little wider than I thought ideal. I started taking a supplement and I noticed my skin pores tightened and my hair started dropping out less, and I started realizing that I had some needs for nutrients. I started taking a supplement ever since, and I’m grateful that I did that.

[00:36:00]
Stuart: What supplement would that be, because I know everybody now wants to

know what that is, me included.

John: At one time, it was Nature’s Secret. I tried to buy out the formula and everything else, and they wouldn’t do it. They moved to a different company and the ones they did didn’t work. But right now I’m using Blue Bonnet multi-nutrient, multi-vitamin mixture. It’s the most comprehensive they have. I actually formulated a nutritional compound with Biotic laboratories many years ago that they still sell called Bio-Multi Plus, but it was up-to-date then, but it’s not up-to-date now and they haven’t changed the formula or I’d be using that.

Stuart: Right, got it. Fantastic. We’ll pass that one on for sure.

Guy: Just to clarify for the listeners, you do this all year round, right, 7 days a week?

John: Yeah, pretty well. You know, people ask me … I’ve been interviewed many times, I mean God knows [crosstalk 00:36:49]. They ask me, “Dr. Demartini, why on earth do you do all that, why do you need to do this?” Sometimes I kind of well up and I look at them and I just pause for a second and I said, “Because I can.” They go, “What does that mean?” I said, “Well, because when you’re told you’ll never read, you’ll never write, you’ll never communicate, you’ll never amount to anything, will never go very far in life, and then you discover you can, and you have the fulfillment of watching lives change and you have the fulfillment of making some sort of difference and have the fulfillment of getting to do what you love and meeting amazing people and going to amazing places and do amazing things, why wouldn’t you do it? I can’t imagine … what else is more important? I just kind of feel like that’s what I do because I love doing it.

Guy: Yeah, great, I love it. Love it. Just a couple of questions left, John. We hear that you read over 30,000 books. Is that correct?

John: It’s actually … [inaudible 00:37:44] exact number [inaudible 00:37:45] it’s 29,978 I think as of yesterday.

Guy: Wow, wow.

John: Those are the ones … I read sometimes, you know, on the flight and I’m [00:38:00] waiting for the internet. I don’t count the digital, only the ones that I can

document. But yeah, I’m about 30,000 books.

Guy: I don’t know how you’d answer this question, but if you were to give a book as a Christmas present to someone, which one would it be or what would it be?

John: Well, there’s two volumes that I encourage everybody to read, and it’s called Syntopicon Volumes 1 and 2. S-Y-N-T-O-P-I-C-O-N. Syntopicon Volumes 1 and 2 by Mortimer, Adler. It’s a bottom of the Brittanica series, they published it. What it is is the greatest ideas by the greatest minds over the last 2,700 years. It’s a summary of the most important ideas for a human being to know. It’s the best books I think that a person can read. It’s like a PhD on living. They’re two 800-page books, thin paper, but they are masterpieces. I think that everybody who read those would benefit by them. I’ve encouraged everybody I know that’s ever asked me that to read those two books.

Guy: Perfect. We’ll definitely check them out, absolutely. We’ll link to the show notes as well. The last question … and again, it’s a broad one … What’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever been given?

John: Best piece of advice, I think I was in fourth grade, “Sit down and shut up.” Best advice I think I’d ever got is don’t try to be somebody other than you. The magnificence of who you are is far greater than any fantasies you’ll ever impose on yourself. Just be you. You can’t compete with something other than you. The real deal is the most important thing. Just be yourself.

Guy: Fantastic.
Stuart: That makes sense.

Guy: Yeah. If anyone listening to this wants to find out more about you, John, [00:40:00] where would be the best place to go, the website?

John: Well, my website is drdemartini.com. On there is just, there’s hundreds of articles and newspapers and magazines and televisions and radio and inspired writings and educational materials and products, YouTubes. You could spend an education on it for a long time. Drdemartini.com.

Guy: Once this goes live, we’ll link on the interview anyway and yeah, expose this interview to as many people as possible.

John: Thank you.

Guy: John, really appreciate your time today, we know you’re a very busy person, and … truly grateful for having you for 45 minutes and share your wisdom with us.

John: Thank you for what you’re doing and thank you for giving me the opportunity to share and thanks for our dialogue, all of us, thank you.

Stuart: Thanks again, John. Really appreciate it.
Guy: Thank you.
John: Okay. May you continue do amazing things, I appreciate it.

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    2 Responses to What Failure Has Taught Me; My 4 Key Rituals to Ensure My Goals Are a Success

    1. Robyn
      March 4, 2016 at 6:39 am

      Absolutely brilliant … thank you so much. What a life….

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