“Not all those who wander are lost.”
― J.R.R. Tolkien
No idea what I’m on about? Read My Date With Ayahuasca:
After such an experience, the last thing I wanted to do was jump straight back into planet normal. Joe, Mike and myself had all agreed a mini vacation was needed.
The next day when we got back to London, we were to book a flight. So the only question we had to answer was, where? In true putting it out there to the universe style, we were not getting caught up on the details like accommodation, transport, what to do etc. We just wanted warm European weather, clear blue seas and somewhere where none of us had been before. Google presented images of Dubrovnik, Croatia to us. We booked a flight and flew out the next morning and spent the next six days there.
It was an amazing city with amazing people (hope you guys are well!) and was the perfect tonic for me, as we slowed down to take the lessons onboard that mother ayahuasca had presented that night.
Taking Onboard The Lessons
Pic right: Loving life on the steps of Dubrovnik.
As I write this back here in Australia, it’s been three months since I drank ayahuasca. Even though the effects are long gone, the experience is still with me and will be forever. This is how I’ve interpreted those lessons. I’m not saying I am right or wrong, just simply what I feel to be right for me:-
- We all carry and pick up baggage along the way in life. We are also very good at burying it; in fact we can bury stuff so deep we can trick ourselves into believing it’s not there. If we want to live a blessed and happy love filled life, we have to confront these things before they manifest into something much deeper and more painful. Don’t hold shit in.
- Be careful what you focus on, as you will naturally gravitate towards that outcome. When I look at a situation now, I will never think what have I got to lose, only what have I got to gain? When you break it down, we can make a decision based on two motivating factors. Fear or love. Sounds a bit airy-fairy I know, but I totally believe this to be true.
- Live/lead with an open heart. As we only have our past to reference from, it’s much easier to assume that this will be our future outcome too. This is not the case. We are not our past, and we can change if we truly want to.
- Life will always throw us curve balls. It’s how we respond to these that shapes us.
- The present is all there is. Deal with shit when it comes; don’t give it any energy until required. Easier said than done I know, and this doesn’t mean burying your head in the sand either, but simply not making it bigger than it is. This also means becoming detached from outcomes. It’s a journey not a destination right?
- Change is the essence of life. Be willing to surrender what you are for what you could become.
- We really don’t have an infinite number of days on this planet, so make them count. By leading with an open heart instead of fear, I believe the world offers us endless possibilities to live a full, happy and loving life. It’s there for the taking for us all, it’s just up to us whether we believe we deserve it or not.
All this from one night of ayahuasca? Simply put… Yes!
Questions I get asked
When chatting to people about ayahuasca, I’ve had all sorts of comments from ‘holy crap, haven’t people died from doing that shit?’ to ‘I’d be so scared of losing my mind’ and ‘where do I sign up?’.
Then I get bombarded with a ton of questions. So here are some those answered:-
Holier than thou?
I think not. People who know me well have seen the subtle changes in me since I drank ayahuasca, but it certainly doesn’t mean I am walking around daily holier than thou. It’s constant work in progress and always will be. Yes I do feel like I can handle shit a little better, but I still have that split second when I want to beep my horn and yell profanities at the stressed, speeding, one hand on the wheel texting guy in front of me who just cut me up on the road as I ride my motorbike.
I realize I can now react to the situation or respond. If the lane-splitting guy had been taken at birth and raised by a kazoku family in Japan, he could well be speaking five different languages, have a fancy feng shui apartment and be a samurai warrior by now. So I tell myself he is not being his true self, just what the environment around us has shaped him to be.
Does this mean that at the heart of every human lies true greatness? Not sure, but it helps me respond to the situation instead of brainlessly reacting.
There have been years and years of self-development on myself and I feel like ayahuasca was simply the icing on the cake for now. With that in mind, it’s constant work in progress. It’s not like I can sit back now and go yep I’m fixed! I believe self development and learning never ends… I’d be a fool and have missed the point if I thought otherwise.
You can read all the books you want but nothing comes close…
They say that when it comes to learning and mastering anything:
- 10% of it comes from reading books, writing, studying etc
- 20% comes from teaching and mentoring
- 70% of it comes from getting amongst it and getting your hands dirty in the field
When it comes to learning more about yourself, for me ayahuasca is that 70%.
I’ve always been a restless soul and continually tried to grow and work on myself over the years. From business to spirituality and everything in between, I’ve read hundreds of books (no exaggeration), gone to seminars, networked, found mentors, listen to podcasts etc. I believe self-growth is one of the most important aspects of living a fulfilled life, as without it things get stagnant very quickly and that’s when it can all go pair shaped!
In saying that, you can read all the books you want on meditation, chakras, being present, self-development etc, and get a kind of feeling what it’s all about. Then sometimes it can feel more like hope than reality. It’s easy to question if there’s more to all of this with self-sabotaging talk kicking in.
A night with ayahuasca has put everything into context. All the self-development work over the years I had done completely made sense in one night. Everything before used to be a hunch, a gut feeling there is more. Now it feels engrained in me (for the better). They say ayahuasca can be like having twenty years of psycho-therapy in one night, and I agree with this.
Don’t believe me? Have a night with it, and then we’ll catch up for a coffee…
Respect the vine…
I believe the more respect you give to the lead up before drinking the vine, the more respect the vine will show you. If you try to cut corners, you need to ask yourself why are you doing it in the first place? I learnt just as much about myself in the ten days leading up to drinking as I did on the very night.
Is everyone’s experience different?
After much research, I believe no two peoples experiences are the same. Simply put, yes you could spend the night vomiting and shitting yourself. Or you could drink and be disappointed that not much happened. The night we drank, Mike got up three times to drink (yes he drank the same amount three times!) as it wasn’t having an effect on him, in saying that Joe and I swear we saw him shed a tear at the end there when we came round.
One other guy there said he had a dark and terrifying time. But when I caught up with him ten days later he said he felt better for it and had no regrets.
Ultimately though, no matter what you experience, I truly feel ayahuasca’s intentions are to make you a better human being. You may just get a bit of tough love whilst doing so though!
Is ayahuasca the only way forward?
I certainly don’t think so. I think there are many ways to reach your true self and inner potential. Ayahuasca felt more like a calling, something resonated and it was right for me.
Does it solve your problems?
Imagine you’ve been wearing rose tinted glasses all your life. This is your reality and this is all you know. You wouldn’t even know everything you see is rose tinted because you’ve never seen it any other way. Ayahuasca is like removing those rose tinted glasses for the first time. Everything is the same, yet it all has more depth, more colour and clarity. You are now seeing things in a much richer and different way.
As cryptic as this sounds, it doesn’t give you the answers as the true answers are within us. Go figure!
Are people who keep doing it addicted?
No. Putting yourself through ayahuasca is a massive ordeal and it’s something you simply don’t do lightly. But when the rewards are self-realization about ones self, the world and others, it’s only natural that you want to learn more. I feel like I’ve just read the first chapter about myself, and what holds the universe together. So even though I’d be just as terrified drinking again, I want to read and learn more.
Every day I try to remind myself of the lessons I took on board. It’s constant work in progress and always will be. I truly have tried to live with an open heart since, and kill the self-doubt talk and fear based decisions as they arise. So far, I have been amazed at the way synchronicities have occurred, the people I meet (LG) and the opportunities that have arisen from this.
It’s as if all the magic truly happens in the vulnerability of our selves, in the change, the things that are beyond our control.
Let go and simply be.
The irony is, I believe it’s there for each and every one of us, it’s just we need to believe it with every cell of our body.
I’m eternally grateful for ayahuasca, and the fact that I did it with my two best mates and also the people who set up the retreat. To be amongst complete strangers who showed me so much care, love and support when their only agenda is to help fellow human beings was simply incredible. It’s something I will never forget.
Like I said in the video above, I feel absolutely blessed to be here. Life is truly a gift and who am I to waste it?
Ps. I hope you’ve enjoyed these posts as much as I’ve had writing them and putting them down in words. If you have any questions feel free to ask below and I’ll do my best to answer them… Guy